Inner critics are the worst!!
If I may, here are a few things that have helped me with my inner critic:
- Identify whose voice it is- mine was my mother’s for the most part, so I looked at that in various ways- her childhood, the message she was actually trying to convey ( people tend to hear things through our own filters and receive the message in a way that wasn’t nececssarily intended) She is very hard on herself and came from a very difficult past. This helped me nurture the inner critic with adult understanding.
- I learned a bit about the enneagram- a personality typing tool, I learned what I mislearned about myself and received tools to help me counter balance that
- challenge the thoughts of the inner critic with a dose of ‘devil’s advocate’
- I realized that I am the only person who will be with me my entire life. With that thought in mind, I have striven to be ‘my best friend’ for lack of a better phrase- I will call out my shit, but I will also be there to support me (self care)
- I looked at whose crap it was that I was carrying. I noticed that when I was carrying something for a long time- a thought- an emotion- and I couldn’t resolve it- it tended to be someone else’s problem that I had taken on. At which point, I energetically ‘gave it back to them’ and released myself from carrying it. At first that felt me because I like helping everyone, but then I realized I am not helping them by carrying their burdens because they move on and I can’t as it wasn’t mine to deal with in the first place.
My inner critic isn’t so loud anymore- except when I am stressed and haven’t had an opportunity for self care.
I hope the above makes sense. Ask me if you want clarification. Ignore this if none of it is helpful or misses the point.