Inner critics are the worst!!
If I may, here are a few things that have helped me with my inner critic:
Identify whose voice it is- mine was my mother’s for the most part, so I looked at that in various ways- her childhood, the message she was actually trying to convey ( people tend to hear things through our own filters and receive the message in a way that wasn’t nececssarily intended) She is very hard on herself and came from a very difficult past. This helped me nurture the inner critic with adult understanding.
I learned a bit about the enneagram- a personality typing tool, I learned what I mislearned about myself and received tools to help me counter balance that
challenge the thoughts of the inner critic with a dose of ‘devil’s advocate’
I realized that I am the only person who will be with me my entire life. With that thought in mind, I have striven to be ‘my best friend’ for lack of a better phrase- I will call out my shit, but I will also be there to support me (self care)
I looked at whose crap it was that I was carrying. I noticed that when I was carrying something for a long time- a thought- an emotion- and I couldn’t resolve it- it tended to be someone else’s problem that I had taken on. At which point, I energetically ‘gave it back to them’ and released myself from carrying it. At first that felt me because I like helping everyone, but then I realized I am not helping them by carrying their burdens because they move on and I can’t as it wasn’t mine to deal with in the first place.
My inner critic isn’t so loud anymore- except when I am stressed and haven’t had an opportunity for self care.
I hope the above makes sense. Ask me if you want clarification. Ignore this if none of it is helpful or misses the point.
For this one i had to really think as i wasn’t getting the concept of the challenge quick like others did however, after reading a few posts and reading the actual challenge again i got it.
For me conditions on my ritual or spell work involve me being grounded. I have not idea why i never forget that concept but sometimes forget the call the quarters. Anyways continuing on, i always have to have 3 tealight candles lit in representation of my deities and another representing the day. I tend to carve my candles with words which resonate to the day as well. Finally i usually meditate first so i am in a calm head space and need peace and quite. To me my altar is my sacred space and i tend to do all my workings there and haven’t been called to do it else where except on a few rare occasions outside. I guess you could say my altar is my condition then as to me it is exactly where i want to be stirring up some magick!
I feel that there is an inner battle between the parts of me that wants to heal and the part of self that wants to take risk. On the flip side the other wants to stay the same. I feel so frustrated that the inner critic inside of me keeps nagging at me to pursue a healthy life and I can’t satisfy this side of me. I can’t get the job I want and I don’t have many options
On the other side of the Dilemma it’s comfortable and it’s what I know that has been protecting myself from danger.
So I talk with the part of me that wants to be in control most of the time in my life. The part of me that wants to numb my pain to forget about the past. It’s dealing with something from family trauma down to daddy and mommy issues. Things that I am not proud of! Regrets that are to painful to let go of! The part of me that doesn’t want to feel anxious thoughts about the self criticism.
The other part want to be a leader and help others like myself and is charged up to help me help others. This part of me would be upset if the other dominating part won cause she never had a really good chance at being true self. This part wants help overcome the battle of oppression.
These two parts are getting to know each other. I am asking the dominant one to let the other side of me have control.
The Leader side is scared of failure and falling but the inner critic has a Dilemma because she’s been waiting for to long! I won’t give up!
Identify whose voice it is
It’s really my inner critic that has the Dilemma.
I been struggling with it for a while know. This is why I want to know the critic better.
learned a bit about the enneagram-
Never heard about enneagram! What is that?
challenge the thoughts of the inner critic with a dose of ‘devil’s advocate’
Exactly what I am doing
I am trying to do this and gave you a little synapses of the inner critic having a conversation with my dominating part. The inner critic just wants to protect myself from hurting myself! They both have an opinion and they are getting to know each other. Something I learned from this book
realized that I am the only person who will be with me my entire life. With that thought in mind, I have striven to be ‘my best friend’ for lack of a better phrase- I will call out my shit, but I will also be there to support me (self care)
Yes I am reading a book called no bad parts and there are No Bad Parts and there’s a meditation that helps you to get to know both sides! There almost like a personality they both have! One is protective and the other is protecting too! They just need to come to terms and yes I am doing my self care and trying to come to terms with that the dark parts of me that have been trying to help for so long. I am working do my shawdow work and looking forward to meditation tomorrow and a banishing ritual I hope to be apart of!
So good to hear you say that you are it carrying that load anymore!
At which point, I energetically ‘gave it back to them’ and released myself from carrying it. At first that felt me because I like helping everyone, but then I realized I am not helping them by carrying their burdens because they move on and I can’t as it wasn’t mine to deal with in the first place.
releasing the burdens is good energy work and really important and tomorrow there’s a good meditation to do just that!
Life becomes a ritual, and sharing helps.
I am going to do the same only I am trying to get to know my inner critic better. I literally did a meditation tonight and that’s how I was able to get to know my parts. I will release this tomorrow! I am truly blessed that I get to meet other witches like yourself too that can resonate with the inner critic inside.
It’s been a upside battle that I have for awhile and I am doing good because I am making progress with my parts! Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom on the topic!
@TheMuslimWitch No worries at all, some challenge themes are very straightforward, but other ones like this are more abstract in nature- they do require a bit more thought and creativity, which you pulled off wonderfully! I love the idea of using tealight candles to represent your deities- it sounds like you make spell casting circumstances that work well for you! Although the challenge closed on Tuesday, I really enjoyed and appreciate your entry- thank you so much for sharing it!
@Jeannie1 It sounds like you are working hard to meet your inner critic and further enhance your energy work- you are really on a roll, Jeannie! Even if it’s a tough battle at times, know that you are winning the war- hang in there and keep going strong, my friend! Lots of love and blessed be
Congratulations on making this journey. Making the journey takes strength and grit and determination, to say the least. There are many who don’t.
It is amazing the behaviours we have that are/were there to protect us because of the situation we are/were in. At some point, hopefully, we are out of the situation and the behaviour is no longer needed and we can gently thank the behaviour and move on. It can take a lot more time than we think it should.
The Enneagram is a personality typing tool with 9 types. I love it more than any other typing tool I have found. However, if you explore it, watch for the people who ‘jumped in’ and made it more commercial - pick you soul mate based on type or other stuff like that. Riso and Hudson were the people who really developed it to where it became something others wanted to jump on the band wagon.
Anyways, the Enneagram helps you identify the message you mislearned. For example, I am an type 3- I mislearned that I am loved for what I do, not for who I am. A type 5 mislearned they are loved for what they know, not for who they are. Type 2-they are the helpers, type 1 perfectionists, type 8, protectors, type 9 the mediatiors etc.
I really liked this tool as it helped me with some difficult family relationships- I learned that what they were saying was meant to be helpful and loving, yet I was hearing it as painful and cruel and vice versa. It also helps me with my messaging with my kids.
Mainly, it helped me identify why I acted the way I did and it gave me the tools to nuture myself and adopt different strategies that supported me in knowing I am loved for who I am (still strikes me as odd some days that someone could like me even if I haven’t done anything for them- lol) There is so much to discuss on this and this is just super high level. Enneagram
I am going to have to look into this book. That meditation to meet your sides sounds great!
I have worked on developing the observational part of me so in a way I step out of the sides and watch them rather than engaging with them. This is much like a mediation where you watch your thoughts come and go without attaching to them. I have found this helpful when I can’t decide which side to listen to or there is too much conflict, so I step out of the situation and generally go and do something else completely different and unrelated to give myself time to let the conflict/indecision pass.
It is so hard to convey decades of stuff/growth/learning etc in these short posts so hopefully, there is some of this that makes sense. So, if something doesn’t make sense in the high-level way I have written it, please feel free to ask.
I hope the releasing goes well for you tonight. It is exciting to be on the journey of self-discovery and self-determination. We can’t determine our present or our future if we don’t take the reins of our self in our hands and do the work.
As I am terribly slow in acquiring books and reading them in a timely manner would you mind sharing the meditation? I would love to try it.
May your journey be blessed and may your guides help you release and transform the energies you are letting go of tonight.
My son is trending to a type 1, trying to help him understand that everything doesn’t have to be perfect and there is more than one way to do things is interesting. It makes me chuckle on the days he looks at me like I am speaking a foreign language.
@Phoenix_Rose I just wish perfect were ever perfect enough…… sigh.
Alas, we #1’s are tortured with the illusion of control, that is the root of this evil called perfectionism. Expecting that we can control all of the variables and that it’s necessary to do so because in our own brains we feel like we are not enough if we don’t. Be careful with type 1’s because it’s an all or nothing prospect. If we can’t do it perfect, we are likely to not do it at all, or run the other way, or just eventually give up.
Oh that is so true! Another topic that baffles his mind is control. Lol
My concern is behaviours that aren’t deemed perfect can become hidden and happen in secret which can cause so many levels of issues.
If I have questions on phrasing for him, may I ask you?