Challenge Entry
So, as a master of chaos, this has to be the most chaotic informal casting that I have ever done.
*Picture it, Sicily, 1929ā¦" (Sorry, bad āGolden Girlsā reference 
)
It all comes together but not all at once, however I think I have the ultimate message figured out & later this morning we will be connecting with The Morrigan 
after some chaotic informal magic over the course of a few daysā¦ Iāll explainā¦
Explanation: It's long though
So, last weekend was, not what we expected at all but we made it to Monday. How thrilled was I when after what I remember as a somewhat faster-paced morning, it was like something said, "Hey, after that you need a good Chakra cleanse I like to do a total Chakra cleanse meditation 
at least once every other day. We are working on every dayā¦ baby steps 
Anway, back to the informal part of this, I took crystal healing courses & crystals are a great way to help with Chakras. Currently, I am working on my Root & Sacral plus added some extra love to the Solar Plexus recently. I carry a pouch with chakra stones & with black tourmaline & clear quartz plus an extra crystal for each of the chakras Iām showing attention to for healing & balancing while I transition & continue my therapies.
So I gathered the crystals that I would need, 1 Black Tourmaline log at my feet (at the Earth Star 
Chakra), double point quartz, a small Selenite wand behind the log, a Large Selenite wand that extends from my Root to my Solar Plexus with Red Jasper in the area of my Root Chakra, Orange Calcite, Carnelian, Sunstone in my Sacral Chakra area, & Citrine, Yellow Fluorite, Yellow Jasper in my Solar Plexus Chakra area, a medium Selenite wand that goes to my Throat Chakra, a small Selenite wand at the top of my head followed by double point quartz at the end.
I went to my Insight Timer app & entered my āMood Check Inā & then chose my Chakra Cleanse meditation with a Chakra Stone in each hand & a small Clear Quartz with each stone, settled into my space with the TV off, fan on 1, & the lights offā¦ I canāt explain what happened but I remember near the end slipping away & kind of not sinking into the bed but very settled into the bed & I was awake but there were images & words. I remember 2 things from that point in time:
- Water
which actually came to me as the word water in blue 
- A super tiny, barely lit light
that got a bit bigger then shrank but was brighter 
than before
I had completely lost track of time & have no idea 
how long I was laying there after the guided meditation stopped (I donāt even remember her guiding me back I was somewhere else entirely plus I started before my son had to even be up for work & when I came backā¦ he was at work for 20 minutes or was very late leaving the house 
) & I remember feeling sensations throughout my out body that werenāt there before & surprisingly refreshed 
So on with life, I went. I was pretty content, I had my therapy appointment & she was very encouraging that I am actually rolling with what is coming my way really well & doing great with the boundaries & sticking with them no matter how hard the ākidsā push back (which when one is a 13-year-old girl & the other is your 20-year-old son itās like they took turns each day & switched off or teamed up 
) & how much progress Iāve made from where I was when we started in early February. However, I need to take a day a lot had happened in the last month & I was borrowing spoons & doing some things that if they continuedā¦ could be unintentional backsliding. We definitely donāt want that, then my husband found the flower in the yard again, it had stayed bloomed.
By Thursday between my husband & my therapist I had strict orders to take a āMEā day on Thursday because the appointment was draining & I did have to kind of process it & talk to my husband about it so I wasnāt wearing a path in my floor from pacingā¦ ah anxiety is fun 
However, I was actually pretty excited about it because of this weekās ritual & it basically is very similar to Monday, I was kind of like hmmmā¦ just thereās something shifting & went about my day again.
I received my Tamed Wild box in the mail. I was hoping for 1. The Wild Moon Deck & 2. As long as it wasnāt the Wild Runes deck (I own it)ā¦ I was excited to get a new deck either way. I got the Wild Crystals deckā¦ which I like, itās really nice & I love the information on the back. However, I have a Radiants Crystal Oracle deck 
Iāve never really had 2 decks that similar before so I kind of giggled 
of course, thatās what I would get, but that also tells me I need something else from my crystals or extra something somewhereā¦ so I cleansed the deck with cedar & rose 
wrapped bundle, shuffled until I felt like stopping, then as I always do, I took off the top 3 cards & drew the next card. It was Bloodstone - very much a grounding stone & also a Root Chakra stoneā¦ so with all of that in mind I did the Bloodstone Activation Meditation & added it to my pouch of crystals.
Yesterday was great for the most part, there were a couple of hectic parts, but nothing too bad. I was telling my husband that for about 2 days, I was very content & honestly relaxed not really overthinking anything. I had done a cleansing shower & combined properly cleaning my new deck & the wrap bag that came with it in the box & a Waterfall Chakra meditation that you can do in the shower & I cleansed the room & shower with the Cedar Rose Petal wrapped bundle & then myself & the shower & the deck & the bag & the area where I placed itā¦ (I had ventilation in the bathroom, I wasnāt letting it fill up & sit with smoke & steam & a fireproof bowl in the sink where the burner & bowl was) I said my cleansing prayer & placed a Clear Quartz point on top of the deck, lit lavender incense, put my pouch of stones on the shelf, & turned on the meditation & took a cleansing shower with lavender incense, lavender & oatmeal body wash. I felt amazing! Just so refreshed & recharged. It was a good day. Again! After I left the shower room I left the deck out on my altar for a little bit, left the clear quartz point on the cards, closed the box, & wrapped it in its new cloth wrap & placed it in my pillowcase. I will sleep with it for a few days to a week & then just shuffle it throughout the day before I really start using it.
My husband shows me his phone & its information about my friendās daughter that I had just gone to her wedding last weekend. I remember it feeling weird, off, tense but fun, but they werenāt people that I knew. Lisa & Shannon & I had a very close but I guess private relationship. It has always been just Lisa & I or the 3 of us together. Shannonās son was a Freshman when my son was a senior in high school & on the football team in 2020 & they were together a lot so are also friends. I was like, that feeling makes so much sense at the wedding that I couldnāt shake it! So I text her asking if they needed anything to let me know. Anything at all, even a hug. 
I also asked for them to be added to July & Augustās Energy Circle within the forum for healing, love, & prayers for them. 
For 2 nights in a row, I slept for 6 hours or more at a time 
So rare, but Iām happy 
that I have relaxed & I know when even if I donāt want to, it might be necessary for me to move on, even if for a moment, Iām more patient, and my dog & I have forged a new or updated relationship since losing my older dog in June 
We are getting outside more now, Iām sticking to boundaries 1000x better than ever 
, even with 2 at a time. I know when itās time to start letting go whether or not itās the right thing for the other person & more about whether or not itās the right thing for me & my family.
So I go to make the bed yesterday after I had messed it up looking for all the runes. I āthoughtā I had them all & found Dagaz 
at the foot of the bed right in front of me. This is hours later because honestly, our hard work paid off & we had a week off this month from financials & an evening of pizza for dinner, so I found my old TikTok & started watching some videos that pop up. I was losing my mind for 2 days over some of these videos & go sucked into the video vacuum hole for a few hours! & my husband was just like, itās okay you were having fun & I was here to see you laugh again. (I mean OMG )
so then I turned off all the electronics & we watched a couple of movies together while the kids were either outside or inside the immediate house. Things just felt, lighter, easier to accept & stop the overthinking before it starts turning into panic from antsy. I know how to release it before Iām reacting to that & not the actual situationā¦ empath gifts can be a gift & a curseā¦ these were the things that would happen to me if I couldnāt let go of something that wasnāt mine anymore or it was someone elseās.
Throughout the week of doing what was feeling right, shorter specific guided meditations to regain self-awareness & be able to come up with practical solutions, I have come to a place of just staying here for a while & enjoy the time & what has been done. Manifest for yourself & for others within your limits, not theirs. As a person with mental health complications & physical limitations within the past 7 years, to get here is Indescribable. To even have the knowledge I do about everything I have come back to & just felt so at home with myself, my family, and my friends. Learning how I need to let go & what works for me has done wonders.
So this hurdle whatever it was, I must have āleveled upā so to confirm my suspicions I had a card draw & the message was basically like a āNAILED ITā moment for me anyway & the rest have been that way since also that I have done for myself in some way. Iāve found what is working for me & itās so good to feel this way now after so many years of bouncing. 
July 26, 2020, was a life-changing moment at the right time for me & my practice. It doesnāt feel like itās been that long because I have learned so much, but there is also so much to still learn! 